Overlying Our Hard Hearts
by Katie Havok
Summary: Newt's gaze is averted politely when she looks up, his jaw flexing as his fingers crawl along the seams of his waistcoat. She recognizes the nervous gesture as his way of containing some great emotion, and she takes a deep breath before reaching for him, stilling his restless hand by dint of taking it within her own. / Newt, Tina, a freshly-baked baby, and an overdue conversation.


Warnings: none. Originally published on Ao3 on December 22nd, and is being uploaded here for the sake of thoroughness.

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Tina looks up at the soft knock on the door, only to smile when Newt peeks in at her with wide, hopeful eyes.

"You can come in," she says, keeping her voice pitched low so as not to disturb the sleeping infant in her arms.

Newt ducks his head before stepping through the door, his eyes going like a magnet to her newborn son before quickly looking away. She watches him with faint amusement as he sheds his suit coat before rolling up his sleeves and washing his hands, taking extra care to scrub beneath his fingernails before approaching the bed.

"Tina," he says softly, "he...he's beautiful." A faint smile tugs at his lips, his eyes almost preternaturally bright in the dim room when he looks at her full-on for the first time in months. "You've done...you're incredible, do you know that?"

"All I did was give birth," she says quietly, avoiding his gaze. She swallows thickly and clears her throat before lifting the bundle of blankets. "Do you want to—?"

"Oh!" Newt says, and his smile strengthens to an almost painful degree when he nods and reaches for the child.

Tina hands him over, opening her mouth to remind him to support the neck when Newt expertly folds the child into his embrace. She closes her mouth with a snap, unexpected tears pricking her eyes as she watches him look down at the babe with a soft, wondering expression, one finger stroking a dark strand of hair before turning to her.

"How are you feeling?" he asks in a rough voice.

She fiddles with the edge of the blanket to stall for time, allowing her bittersweet happiness to ebb before settling on an answer. "I'm okay," she says in a voice that trembles only a little. "Just...very sore. I don't know if I ever want to do all this again."

Newt looks at her searchingly for a moment before returning his gaze to her son, who is beginning to stir. "What's his name?"

"Jonah," she answers fondly and tucks the blanket more securely around a tiny, wriggling foot before smiling. "I haven't decided on a last name yet, though. I don't... I don't want to give him his father's name because he doesn't deserve the honor — his father, I mean, not Jonah — but I also don't want to give him Goldstein."

Newt nods as if this was what he expected, moving his upper body in a slow, soothing rhythm as Jonah begins to fuss in earnest. "Mr. Tolliver has no idea what he's running away from," he says and smiles down at the infant before turning to her. "There are other options, you know. You could create an entirely new surname for him, or you could…" He swallows and returns his gaze to the baby, his eyes shining with something she can't decipher. "Or you could give him the name of a friend."

The subtle emphasis on that last word makes her flinch, sadness rising within her. "What if I wanted to be more than friends?" she asks, closing her eyes and swallowing her tears when Newt leans into her son to inhale his scent. "What if I felt it would be a sign of disrespect to said friend when all of this could have been prevented if I...if I—"

Tina starts when a warm, calloused palm cradles her cheek, opening her eyes to find him watching her steadily. "Then, I think that friend would say you have nothing to be worried about. I'd be honored, Tina, truly." His thumb brushes the errant moisture gathering beneath her eye, and he tips his head to the side before murmuring thoughtfully, "'Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of the earth, overlying our hard hearts'."

"Dickens," she says, and laughs wetly, the sound turning into a sob when she clenches the blankets in her fist. Jonah gives a soft whimper as if sensing her distress, and she blinks away her tears while reaching for him, allowing Newt to transfer him into her arms. Her son shifts against her, rooting blindly, and she doesn't allow herself to feel anything but relieved when she opens her modified blouse to allow him to latch onto her breast.

Newt's gaze is averted politely when she finally looks up, his jaw flexing as his fingers crawl along the seams of his waistcoat. She recognizes the nervous gesture as his way of containing some great emotion, and she takes a deep breath before reaching for him, stilling his restless hand by dint of taking it within her own.

"As I was saying," she continues, sighing when her milk lets down and pleasant flutters move through her lower belly. "Names are important, as you know. I didn't want to give my son your name without your full blessing."

He turns to her before lacing their fingers together, brow furrowing as he looks down at their joined hands. "You have it," he says softly. "You have my blessing, you have my understanding, you have anything and everything you may need because you are my love and I cannot give you anything less than my all."

Tina turns her head into her shoulder to stifle a laughing sob, squeezing his fingers when he looks at her hopefully. "You sure know how to make a woman feel appreciated," she says, and tugs on him until he perches carefully on the edge of the bed, his hand warm and solid in her own. "I just wish it had been sooner. Would have saved us both a lot of heartbreak, I think."

Newt slowly extends his free hand, pushing her hair out of her face before cupping her jaw. "Would you have accepted me if I came to you even six months ago?" he asks, his eyes lingering on her lips.

"No," she says honestly, "but that's because I didn't think I was worthy of you, not due to any fault of your own. You're perfect, Newt; you always have been. I just didn't think I was good enough for you, and when Achilles approached me…" She takes a deep breath to quell her tired bitterness, unable to keep her mouth from twisting unhappily. "How could I say no to him when he seemed to accept and appreciate all the worst parts of me? How was I to know that I was just a temporary diversion and that he would throw me over as soon as he found out that what we shared had created something permanent?"

In her arms, Jonah breaks his latch with a small cry, arms waving angrily within the nest of blankets as Tina transfers him to her other breast. Newt doesn't look away this time, watching her and her son until the baby is settled and nursing comfortably and she can meet his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't admit to myself how I felt about you sooner, Newt. Every time I think about how he could have been yours, I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry or…"

His hand transfers from her jaw to thread into her hair, his eyes serious. "I'm sorry too," he says quietly, "that I wasn't...brave enough to approach you on my own. I had hoped you would find happiness with Mr. Tolliver, and I was truly disappointed when I heard your relationship had failed. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you as I should have been, but it was...difficult...for me to watch you be happy with someone else. By the time I realized how sad you truly were, I couldn't find the words to tell you, and couldn't even begin to dream of ways to make it better." He takes a deep breath before admitting, "I was also jealous. Just a smidge. And I wasn't sure how to confront that, so I...didn't."

Tina leans against him when a wave of pleasant exhaustion rolls over her, not bothering to cover her yawn. "That's understandable," she says and turns her head to rest her forehead against his jaw before murmuring, "I forgive you, if that's what you need to hear, though I don't feel like there's anything to forgive. Can you forgive me?"

Newt kisses her temple, making her smile, and she hears his throat click when he swallows. "Forgiven, forgotten," he says, and gently lifts her chin so he can meet her eyes, leaning their foreheads together. "Am I right in thinking that this is, or will be, a new start for us?" She nods, and his eyes soften when he smiles and whispers, "Would it be inappropriate to kiss you, then?"

She shakes her head with a whispered, "No," eyes drifting closed when he closes the gap between them. His kiss is as soft and warm and loving as she ever could have hoped, containing the promise of a new beginning, and they break it with matching sighs before Newt slides his arms around her, embracing her properly.

"Welcome to the family then, Jonah Scamander," he says to her now-sleeping son, and Tina doesn't try to hide her tears when Newt leans over to kiss his forehead before drawing her firmly against his chest, shielding them from the world for just a moment longer.

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Thanks, as always, to Kemara for beta-reading, advice and encouragement.

This story was written to fill a handful of prompts: one for Newtina using the Dickens quote contained in the story, one for Newtina and the quote "you are my love", one for jealous!Newt, and one for Newtina in the aftermath of Tina finding someone else in Newt's absence. Whew.

Want one of your own? Come to find me on Tumblr at katiehavok and drop me a line!


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